Monday, August 10, 2015

Wait, are you adopted?

I often think about how the kids must miss coming home to a family that speaks their language, cooks authentic food, and  carry's on other cultural traditions. My husband and I do our best to expose our children to their culture, but we will never share their heritage with them. We will never look like them.

There have been times when their friends act surprised when they find our that we are their parents. Then the questions and comments come. "Why don't you look like your mom and dad?", "You are dark and he is white. How is he your dad?", "Wait you speak spanish and he doesn't.", or "Are you adopted?"

These questions hurt our children. Little man once said, "Why didn't you just grow a tummy and have your own baby? That's what people do." Processing their adoption is hard for them and questions make it even harder sometimes.

So we do our best to explain. We do our best to make them feel loved. We do our best to do cultural activites. We do our best to communicate to their friends' parents and their family members who do not speak English and yet we always seem to fall short in this category.

When I have those days when I wish I could give them more, I have to remind myself of one important thing. Our family was knitted together by God. He has a huge plan for us and He knew what He was doing when He placed the kids in our home. Yes, we will get questions and possibly confused looks, but in our hearts we know we are family.

If you have any questions about the kids or how the adoption process works, we ask that you wait until the kids are not present to bring them up. This decreases any risks of hurting the kids or making them feel even more different than they already feel. We may or may not be able to answer every question, but we are happy to give any information that educates the public about adoption and what a wonderful gift it is.

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